"Occupation?"No, just here for a few days."As the coffin was being lowered into the ground at a Parking Officer's funeral, a voice from inside screams:"I'm not dead, I'm not dead. Let me out!"The Vicar smiles, leans forward, sucking air through his teeth and mutters,"Too late, mate, the paperwork's already done."I spent a couple of hours defrosting the fridge last night.Or "foreplay" as she likes to call it.After both suffering from depression for a while, me and the missus were going to commit suicide together yesterday.Strangely enough, however, once she killed herself I started to feel a lot better.So I thought - sod it, I'll soldier on.I woke up this morning at 8 and could sense something was wrong.I got downstairs and found the wife face down on the kitchen floor, not breathing! I panicked. I didn't know what to do.Then I remembered – the local cafe serve breakfast until 11.30."Jesus Loves You."Nice to hear in church but not in a Mexican prison.Got caught having a piss in the. It was the cable guy, about time I thought to myself. Linda answers the door and let him in. He introduce himself as Gary. Gary asked where we wanted the cable boxes, Linda told him in the living room and bedroom. He said ok, went got his tools he needs to start the job. I popped out and said hi to him. I went to the kitchen got a drink of water, I turned around, Linda was sitting on the couch with her legs up on the coffee table, legs open, reading her book, showing her pussy off. Gary kept glancing over time to time. I know Gary was getting a hard on, he kept looking over at Linda. Gary set up the box in the living room, asked where did we want our internet. Linda told him it would be in the bedroom also.Gary got up and went to the bedroom, Linda followed him in. Linda closed the door but not all the way. She knows I want to watch. Linda told him where to put the internet and pointed at the TV for the cable. Gary started with the internet, Linda sat down on the bed. I heard them.
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